“Speech after long silence; it is right” (opening line to “After Long Silence” by W. B. Yeats) is a fairly apt start to this post. I have been long away from writing. I think I needed to take a break, my mind stopped working in a way that was conducive toward written word. I went through a period where life and the things in it were disjointed to a point of supreme chaos and it is only now that I feel a sense of calm come over me enough to write out my thoughts.
So lets jump right back into it, shall we? I have pushed my body physically as of late. If I am not dancing, I am cycling these days – trying to get into shape for the summer months. On top of letting my mind go from the discipline of writing, I also let my body go from the discipline of good food and exercise. On all fronts they rebelled and I was left wasted and longing for the “good ol days” when I could easily maintain my healthy attitude toward life. I am fortunate in that my body feels the need to inform me of its displeasure at my conduct and smacked my mind around enough to get me moving again. I am glad it did. Maybe it is not always a bad thing though, to go through the motions for a while. Finding the spark that motivates you and pushes you can be a glorious feeling. Lately, I feel like I am dancing better – not because I have all of a sudden been able to do pirouettes magically overnight – but because my attitude toward it has changed. I don’t see dance as just something you go out and do to get exercise. I have Learned (note the capital “L”). Dancing is extremely demanding – I am finding out now that even the most breathtaking dancer holds their body in such control as to make you sigh with delight. Even if you are born with natural grace, there is much to learn. I was driving home from dance tonight and created this poem in my head:
From the curve of your fingers,
To the ends of your toes,
From the shape of your neck
To the tilt of your nose
The depth of your plié,
Determines your pose,
Dance is demanding,
My sore body shows.
I am glad for this new-found motivation, this pure enjoyment of the art of dance. I have never found anything as demanding as dance. You can be waltzing across the dance floor, as I was tonight, feel weightless and light as a feather – only to realize your hands automatically revert to claws when you piqué turn en dehors (as my teacher so kindly pointed out). Lets not even discuss how I made a Grand jeté look like a Stag Jump.. but I digress. I will get there again. I will dance… I will write.. I will cycle my little heart out. The world better be ready this time – because I am here to stay.