Last night I had every intention of sitting down and writing out my blog for today. At the very least, I was going to jot out some ideas for future posts. I actually was very proud of myself for creating a schedule yesterday that I could work with – that would allow me to accomplish more in one day that I have become accustomed to doing. Ever have those moments where you just feel like it is all clicking? Even with the several snags in my schedule I ran across, I still felt flexible enough to keep with the mental image I had of how my day should progress. Speaking of flexible, I also made time to do a make-up class in ballet last night. Ballet always makes me smile, and it is grueling enough that I have to focus my entire mind and body on the task at hand. Oftentimes I will leave ballet in an entirely different frame of mind than when I walked in – just by the simple nature of letting go.
Needless to say, you can well imagine how pleased I was with myself and my day. I was almost on the verge of giving myself a pat on the back, I was that full of myself. I came home and sat at my computer to play a round of poker with my family before tackling my blog. Yes, playing poker was also in my schedule – I am an almost obsessive Texas Hold ‘Em poker player and am quite good, if I say so myself. If you have any doubts, lets meet up at the tables and let the cards fall as they may. As I am quick of wit and quite the chatty person, I can almost guarantee that losing all your chips to me won’t be as painful a process as you might first suspect.
What does this all have to do with my journey into writing though? Well, it was at this point that I ran across a problem that I am sure is going to crop up again and again. The poker game was taking longer than I had budgeted on. I ended up coming in 2nd place, mainly because we both got tired of the game and went all in and she ended up with a full house to my 3 of a kind. Bugger. That still burns me, but there is always next time. In any event, I was opening up my various web pages in order to start my creative process – Facebook, this blog page, Twitter, several research pages I had tagged for follow-up, and my search engine – when my best friend messaged me that she was watching this horse being born on a live feed web cam. Whoa (pun intended), that sounded pretty cool to me. I figured maybe I could have that playing in the background and come and check on it every so often and still work on my writing.
At first, that plan worked out wonderfully. I read through the pages I had tagged, was looking up more information when I checked back on the horses. The filly had been born and up until this point had been laying in the ground. It was going on an hour after the filly had entered the world, and she still wasn’t standing up to nurse. My bff, who is a horse person (I am not, really), told me that she was even getting worried. I found my desire to do more research wane and my attention riveted on this Mamma and baby horse. I was half heartedly musing about my blog, but this newborn horse who was apparently exhausted and struggling to even stand started tugging at my heart-strings. I watched her get to her feet, only to fall over and I found myself wanting to rush over there and help her stand again. She was a determined little horse, but her attempts at standing were becoming weaker and weaker. I wanted to shout out to the world to help her, for her owners to assist in any way. I found myself willing this filly to stand and make it in the world. Turns out she did need assistance to stand and get latched on. I was so happy, I started to cry. I felt that at least now maybe she had a chance!
In my joy, I glanced at the clock. Oh my word! Where had the time gone?? All the hours I had planned on spending on writing were now gone. It was actually past my bedtime, and I knew I had a full day today. I had a momentary feeling of failure – that it was only my first day at this scheduling thing and I blew it. But then I thought of that newborn filly and the struggles I had just watched and I was suddenly glad. I had just witnessed the miracle of birth and life. I realized that sometimes things just don’t go as planned. Sometimes there are struggles and difficulties. Overcoming them is the key to life.
That being said, have any of you ever found yourself distracted or unmotivated to do the project you need to do? Other than sheer willpower, what do you do to get back on track? Obviously I am here now and have the continued desire to write, but what of those projects that get lost in the shuffle? Am I the only one who feels frustrated when that happens? Is it my perfectionistic tendencies coming into play that render me incapable of finishing them? Please tell me I’m not the only one, and any advice you might impart will be most appreciated.
The picture you see here is from my best friends photo collection and not of the infant I saw last night – but still a lovely image, nonetheless. Oh, and in case you would like to take a glimpse at the cam I watched last night, here it is. May not be as exciting now as it was last night, but that filly will be in my thoughts for awhile.